en.ti.tle.ment (noun): the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges).
I don't think that anyone really is 100% immune from this entitlement disease-I know that I act entitled more often than I am proud of really. But the problem is that this entitlement makes humans act disrespectfully and condescendingly toward other people. And guess what ladies, I'm talking to y'all.
Meet my childhood idol:
I cannot tell you how much I loved Shania Twain. Every word to every song all the time. And she was all about girl power-so from a young age I believed that women deserved respect, had power to pursue their dreams, and could change their world. And I still believe that 100%. I believe that women should get an education, should work hard, should be intelligent, should be able to work in whatever corporation they want, should be subject to equal pay, and should be able to have a powerful influence. The problem is when this notion of equality becomes superiority.
Lately, I have seen/heard/read too much about women demeaning men. And guess what? It's not ok. Since when did it become ok for women to treat men like their are inferior, like they are stupid, and like they don't work hard? A few examples:
- My friend recently went grocery shopping for his wife and took his young son with him. Not only did my friend have his hands full with a toddler and groceries, he also had an injured knee and was limping quite a bit. While a couple of people stopped to help him, many women were quite rude to him. Some women made comments like, "Oh, it's mommy's day off. Good for her!" or "You probably never realized how hard moms really have it." Now, I am not saying that mothers do not work hard. I have an amazing mother who has taught me so much. She works every day to cook meals, do laundry, teach piano lessons, run errands, take her kids to all of their activities, and the list could go on and on. And I honestly don't know how moms do it all and keep their sanity. However, this does not mean that she was better than my father. My dad woke up early every single day to go to work and provide for my family. Then he would come home and help my mom around the house. Never did my mom imply that she worked harder than my father or that he was lazy or that he could never understand how hard her poor life was. It was a team effort. Men make an incredible contribution to the home, and their efforts should be recognized rather than scorned.
- I recently read a blog about a woman who asked her husband to pick up groceries on his way home. Among other things, he was supposed to bring home hamburger meat. When he returned home, his wife realized that he had bought 70/30 meat instead of 80/20. The author talks about berating her husband for being so stupid and not knowing exactly what kind of meat he should have bought. Didn't he know that 80/20 meat was more lean? And shouldn't he have read her mind to know that 80/20 meat was the kind she ALWAYS bought? Well the story ends well with the author realizing how demeaning she had been to her husband, but this is a classic example of men being treated like they are inferior and cannot think for themselves. If the roles had been reversed in this story, we would have seen this woman on Dr. Phil saying how emotionally abusive her husband was. So why is it ok for women to be emotionally abusive? Why would you ever let 80/20 hamburger meat excuse you for treating your husband poorly? Isn't your marriage worth more than a couple pounds of animal meat?
- A few days ago I saw a Buzzfeed article--something about 6 reasons why you can't keep his interest-or something stupid like that. Well the whole article was very demeaning to men. The one that killed me the most was "If he acts like a child then you should treat him like a child. He'll eventually figure it out and shape up." No. When is it ever ok to treat a grown man, your equal, like a child? No one likes being treated condescendingly. Shockingly, I do not think that treating your significant other in a condescending manner will improve your relationship. Ever.
Unfortunately, I see examples like this nearly every day. Our society talks so much about equality and treating people with respect, yet it almost seems like men are getting the short end of the stick. Men deserve to be treated with every ounce of respect that we women demand. Ladies, this entitlement thing isn't cool. Do women deserve respect? YES. Do women deserve a man who will treat them kindly and do thoughtful things for them? YES. One of the first things I notice about a guy is if they open the door for women, if they help her carry her groceries, if they thank her for cooking dinner, and if they help her put on her jacket. When I am married, I should be my husband's #1. I expect that he will love me, appreciate me, and that I should be his first priority. But shouldn't women do the same for their husbands? Shouldn't women thank their husbands for fixing the sprinklers, write notes of gratitude for their husband, and celebrate his accomplishments? Shouldn't he be your #1?
The amount of relationship experience I have is limited, and I have zero marriage experience, but respect is a life lesson, not a romantic relationship experience. Y'all can call me conservative, or old-fashioned, traditional, religious, inexperienced, or whatever you want. But if those are the opposition arguments then I will gladly take them if the outcome is increased respect in society. Respect is the anecdote to this poison of entitlement that is plaguing our society.
